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So I have to say that a spark has been lit in me that has been (before this past week) slowly flickering in the back of my mind.

I’ve always had issues in the past for putting myself in a box and not straying too far from the ideals that I had used to make that box.  I’m used to becoming comfortable in aspects of life and then having them impede me from feeling  like I’m making a contribution to world and thus not being productive or energized.  I’ve used my small frame and stature to tell myself that I can’t do certain things, or my youthful appearance to tell myself I may not get respect in certain areas because of that (despite my age and experience).  But it’s funny how one person can say something that will defy what you believe yourself to be, and blow that box of self-defeating comfort to pieces.

I’ve always been interested in fitness and training and here these past four months since I’ve gotten my workout routines worked out and taken on training to help keep me focused and driven to do more than I think I can.  I’ve worked like I never have before and I’ve gained tons of self-esteem and feelings of self-worth that I had lost somewhere along my journey a few years ago with the hardships I was dealing with and then settling into a new way of life here in another part of the state.

I’ve come to find that fitness is definitely something I wanted to pursue further in my career paths and kind of held that in the back of mind as a “I’ll consider it when I feel like I can” kind of mindset.

Then a few days ago my trainer and training director Chris asked me if I had ever considered doing competitions (competitive bodybuilding) at some point.  The truth is I had, but never really given it a serious thought because of my size.  I had an impression of myself being this small, frail guy no matter how hard I trained and that they would never let me into “that club”, as only the “big boys” hang out there.  And Chris asking me this one question just blew all of that away.

He went on to say that my size, frame and drive are a good combination for it, and he sees the potential in me.   And because he saw it in me, that wall has been taken down and I actually see myself doing this thing I had always considered out of my league.

It’s funny how you can build an impression of yourself and because of that, you can keep yourself from experiencing so much.  You can miss out on a dream because you falsely told yourself you couldn’t.

It’s going to take alot of dedication but I’m prepared and eager for the challenge to improve myself and keep working hard.

If you’ve noticed I have a link to my Bodybuilding.com Bodyspace profile in the “More on Me” section to the right.  I’ve been keeping up with that profile for a few years and if you want you can keep up with my fitness journey there.  Of course, I’ll be keeping my blog full of info as well, but the site offers more specified nuts and bolts information of my journey than the generalizations I’ll give here.  I’m eager for the venture and I hope you share my excitement!

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